belated jot

It’s been a little while.

The sweetness of this season will reverb through my future selves.

I could not have written a better circumstance.

I came into the woods gasping for breath. I am leaving in peace and strength.

Providence placed me here. Each day whispers so to me. Small, loving secrets unwrap and present in synchronicities too strange for my mind. It’s because I’m making contact with another mind. I know this Other intimately, in fact I only know Them intimately. I know Them how I know the beat of my own heart. Beyond the reach of facts and concepts, but deeply connected with my very experience of self. As a result, the self becomes wrapped up in the mystery too.

This year I have grown deeper than I knew I could. I’ve moved through love I didn’t know I could bear. I’ve strained this flesh harder in work than ever before. I’ve moved into union greater than any word could represent.

And I am at peace.

A cross-roads in my career, a beginning in a new city, missions & adventures greater than my existing capacity, and potent relationships await me now.

I host little fears over each ot these. That is how I know I’m moving in the right direction.

Fear must be faced or it will become a ruler.

Idols are created when fears define our limits. The fear of the Lord alone prepares the mind for what it can become. I aim to become all that I can, not as measured in the terms of man - but the terms of the Spirit. I want to be full and spilling. I want to know my wretchedness and respond in faith. I want to love in abandon and dive headlong into purpose. Life is meant to be a contact sport. I will be disappointed if I end this journey unscathed.

I will miss the Methow valley…. I’ve been swarmed by love and kindness here. My solitude has been rich and my nourishment has been still richer. My friends’ advise and pursue me (their average age is 73). My food is all from within 20 miles of me. My books are piled high and my journal exasperated by my activity. The mountains tower over me always and entertain my running and scrambling each weekend. In these ways I have been restored emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It has been a deep respite.

And now I am off to the city.

I am excited.

So much awaits. I am eager to become who it will make of me. To delight in its hidden treasures and encounter people of all backgrounds. I want to dance and box and sing and pray and write! I yield all these ambitions to allow for what will be. My will is to be guided and my time spent will be intentional.

Grateful, grateful, grateful.